I remember, in that moment just before I drowned, just before my body could not handle the fluid in my lungs, a dark silohet approached me underneath the waves. A calming sensation came over me, and I made a consious effert to stop my body’s struggles. Suddenly, where before the sensation of the sea in my lungs brought terror to me, it became comforting. For three days had I struggled against the sea, and this final act brought realization of what he must have gone through, what he must have understood during those final moments. Instead of dying though, the sea rescued him, gave him a higher purpose. In those moments just before thought and life left me, I understood my purpose then – and if it was the will of the sea to come back then I vowed to serve and protect it with all my power.
When I told the Arch-Cleric this, after I was returned to the living, he smiled warmly at this. “Of all of those who come back, many of them still struggle with this understanding, this connection. You are one of the few who are destined for great things, if you allow the sea to be your guide. Remember that feeling, that understanding always. Never turn your back on it, and always look for guidance and trust in the sea. It will serve you well.”
Now, I must live those words to the fullest this night. At mid-day our ship was beset upon by merfolk, who were attempting to capsize a merchant fishing ship. I have heard of these attacks before, but generally they have been far out to sea. However, what was especially disturbing about this attack was one of the merfolk’s people was using prayers of the Drowned God in his attack. I attempted to talk with him, but was met with hostility. He claimed that we ‘land folk’ could never truly understand the sea or him and that we must all be brought down to the depths or die in the process. I attempted to reach a peacefull solution with them, however was thwarted by one of our own’s attack (which also disobeyed a direct command by the Admiral to stop hostilities.) I must have words with this individual soon. Regardless, I knew then that the Drowned God would not order an attack on a fishing vessel. It is not his way. The sea seeks ballance in all things, but this attack was nothing more than a form of piracy in his eyes. My conviction was strong, but I still needed guidance. As the battle raged on around me I sought his help and guidance, and most importantly I sought the help of the sea.
The admiral believes Helm saved the day, and I chuckle at this. I don’t believe Helm has ever felt the spray of salt water against his face, has ever laughed at a squall and truly felt alive. No. The sea always seeks ballance, but who am I but one who also helps the sea in this regard? For my devotion, I offered up a smitance of my blood, so that the creatures that call it home may find nourishment. The sea answered by sending a school of sharks against the merfolk. It was then that the heretic knew that the Drowned God would not condone his actions this day. Before more life was lost, he and his followers left.
After helping to treat the wounded, provide healing, comfort and prayers to them I still remained troubled by what I had witnessed. This man, he was obviously a member of our order – or once was. I should not profane our order by suggesting he is still with us, because he has twisted the teachings to his own desires – and yet I pity him because he is lost. It is this reason why I must seek answers. This evening at Dawn I am putting myself into his domain and at the mercy of the will of the sea. I am its protector, its servant. It calls to me to commune with it. In doing so if it is its will to take me then so be it. I can serve it in death as well as life.